For the past two months I’ve been involved in a job hunt. Yes, I am finally quitting the world of freelance and seeking a 9-to-5. There are several reasons for this decision.

1. I need a health plan and retirement benefits. I have finally realized I’m going to grow older whether I like it or not. I can’t teach group exercise forever.
2. I need an income that grows. Yes I potentially make a lot of money as a freelance writer and instructor, but that’s not on a monthly basis. With a regular job, I get a guaranteed salary AND yearly increase and bonuses. Freelance rates remain flat year-in, year-out.
3. I need solid financials. As a co-signatory of a property my parents are buying for our family, I also have to apply for the bank loan that will finance its purchase. it just looks better to be employed. (Also, being self-employed is a hassle due to the amount of paperwork to fill out!)
4. I need to be productive. A large chunk of my day is spent checking Facebook and surfing the Internet for lack of anything else to do between classes. What a waste of brain cells!

My job hunt is about to come to an end, hopefully. And as I embark on a new phase of my life, I know I have logical reasons for this course of action. 🙂

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Albert Einstein says it’s insanity to do the same thing repeatedly and expect different results. I’ve been doing a certain thing going on 5 years, and nothing has changed. I feel like I’ve wasted my youth, effort, and money on what has no future in store for me. It’s just like a bad relationship: I’ve got to get out.

Don’t get me wrong. There are so many things that I love about it — the friends I’ve made, experiences I’ve shared, skills I’ve learned. But I’ve always prided myself on knowing when to leave. Whether or not I actually do it depends on how stubborn I am, or how hopeless I feel.

Right now I feel pretty hopeless, and I just know there’s so much more for me than being mired here.

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We all have a tendency to put people on a pedestal — usually people we admire from a distance. And we’ve all been star-struck when we finally meet them in the flesh. Then When we get to know them better, we take them off the pedestal.

Especially when we meet celebrities (of any kind), we tend to think of them as being better than ordinary people somehow; there’s a certain charisma that attaches itself to anyone who’s in the public eye. When you stick around them long enough and get to know them, the glow fades and you realize they’re just people too (albeit a little more attractive than the average Juan).

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Before I started writing professionally (June 2009), I had all the time and energy to write for my own enjoyment and for the few readers and commenters that happened across my blog. It was when I was at my most florid and creative; what one of my friends termed my “Blue Period” when I’d write about… I dunno, stuff. Anything and everything.

I didn’t know that you could actually exhaust that well of creativity, but it was a lesson I learned the hard way the past year-and-a-half. I would live an experience or situation and think, “Wow, that’s something I could blog about!” But when I sat down at my laptop, since I was tired from researching and writing articles for work, all I wanted to do was amuse myself on Facebook posting witty comments on people’s walls, statuses, and photos.

Facebook has also become a way of sharing experiences. Upload an album, caption the photos (optional), and everyone sees what you did. No need to compose paragraphs describing the beauty of a place or the excitement you felt; “a picture is worth a thousand words”. And Twitter? My observations of people’s behavior, even if I just passed them on the street, that goes in there instead of in a bblog post about how funny people can be when they think no one’s looking.

But maybe I could just dig my well a little deeper. There’s a lot more to be said, after all the articles have been written…

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Wow, looking at the date of my last post, it’s been a while since I posted in this blog. Ever since I started KikayRunner.com, my personal blogging has taken a hit. You might have noticed I’ve blogged mostly about events lately; that’s because I’ve felt obligated to write posts about those events in return for the food and the (quite honestly) interesting experiences. And I have a feeling this year Kikay Runner is going to be a major part of my life, so I’ve got to define what In My Pocket should be. Is it a fashion blog? Lifestyle? Events?

This blog started as a personal journal, and at its core, it still is and should be. Where else am I going to write about how emo I was over the Christmas holidays because I was the only single person left in my family, or gush about some fantastic insight that’s come to mind? I still need a space on the web where I can write my heart out without caring about the niche or hobby the blog is supposed to be for. (And since nobody reads this blog now because I stopped updating it, all my posts are as good as private! Hahaha)

To start the new year right, I’ve moved this blog from its Blogspot subdomain to its own subdomain on NoelleDeGuzman.net. Since this website is my personal profile and portfolio, it’s only fitting that my personal journal share the same space. Now that I’ve broken this blog free of its definition as a lifestyle and events blog, I might have more stuff to write about. Stuff that my heart and soul have been scattering all over cyberspace through Twitter, Plurk, and Facebook. Stuff that maybe I’m the only one who will care about. But if you’re interested in little mundane things like that, you’re welcome to read along. Ü

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